The Power I Have

As summer rolls on, I’m starting to realize how much time I’m wasting. And then, naturally, I start blaming it on everything but me. But it’s not like when I’m in school; I don’t have any exams or assignments to do, and on top of that, I don’t have a job…So ultimately, it’s purely my fault that I’m not accomplishing what I want to do.

This epiphany is a bit scary to me because it’s saying that I have the power to decide what I do in my day. I have the power to be extremely efficient with my day. I have the power to improve myself a lot over summer break. I have the power to learn more things. I have the power to whip myself into shape. I have the power to read lots of books. I have the power to write songs, to learn new songs, to learn music theory.

But at the same time, I have the power to say, “Maybe another day.” I have the power to convince myself that it doesn’t need to be done right now. I have the power to persuade myself to stay in bed for just thirty minutes more…or maybe an hour more. I have the power to tell myself that it’s pointless to try to do something.

…I have the power to stop my own dreams and ambitions.

And that’s pretty scary.

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