I felt like I was drowning. For the first time, I understood what all those comics meant when there were pictures of long, convoluted formulas that all melded together to one massive unidentifiable blob of math. And it’s not like I can’t understand it either. I did really well in differential and integral calculus last year, but this year in multivariable cal, I’m lost. And it’s not because the material is hard; I get bits and pieces, but barely in time for the exam.
It’s because my professor is extremely disorganized and absentminded. Which is a fatal combination for a course as important and complex as multivariable calculus.
Go to the textbook then, Ashley! Isn’t that what you’re holding in the picture? Nope: it’s a textbook I borrowed from the engineering library because GUESS WHAT: A PROFESSOR WROTE THE TEXTBOOK. And he’s not any better than my lecture professor, so the textbook is just as confusing as the lectures are. Oh, the irony.
Yesterday I called my dad and had a mini meltdown about calculus and he calmly suggested me to get out there myself to master the material. He told me to check out a book from the library and scour YouTube for a better teacher. He told me to wrestle with the material myself so that way it’ll stick better. And most importantly, he told me that I could do it.
I. CAN. DO. THIS.
And so, here I am on this lovely morning, with a calculus textbook in hard, super excited to FINALLY LEARN CALCULUS. It’s actually kind of funny how excited I am to learn this. I can do this, I can soooooo do this! I’ve been blessed with the ability to understand this, so I will do it. If it takes going to tutoring every night and asking a guy to walk me back (since it finishes at 9pm and it’s not the best idea for a girl to walk back alone that late), so be it. If it takes living in the math lab every day, so be it.
EXCEL IN THIS CLASS. Regardless the professor. Regardless the lectures.