Alrighty, today (er, rather tonight as I’ve procrastinated this until now) I’m going to try for the first time a response to WordPress’ Daily Post! The prompt today was to piece together a mixtape of my life, from the past to the future and including what I hope/dream for. Wow, that’s a tall order, but I knew I wanted to do it. Surely there would be some songs to match my life? If not, then there, I had an inspiration/reason to write a song about it, haha. I’ll try to arrange this list in some sort of order…
And as bait for people to read more, let’s put it this way: you’ll learn a lot about me through this post, ha. Even I surprised myself.
We Are One (Ole Ola): Pitbull
AHAHAHA I BET YOU DIDN’T SEE THAT COMING! XD Let me explain, friends~ I lived in Southeast Asia (Philippines, Indonesia, Singapore) for nine years, then America for five, then Canada for three. Along the way, I was exposed to rich cultures and became flexible to adapting to different circumstances. What better way to show this internationalism than the World Cup?
Also, I grew up in a soccer loving household, as my dad and brother are avid soccer fans. So there, two birds down with one stone~
My Stupid Mouth: John Mayer
I had a major problem with saying things without thinking when I was younger (ahahah makes me sound like I’m soooo old now but you know what I mean, yeah?). I would insult people because I spoke without thinking and bashed myself for my quick tongue. Now, I don’t have as big of a problem with it. Not to say that I’m perfect, but it’s not as big of a concern for me when I open my mouth.
Gee: Girl’s Generation
AHAHA. Wow, I’m surprising myself as I’m doing this post. I still remember when this first came out; my friend Yoonjin was a huuuuge fan of SNSD (another name for Girl’s Generation) and always did the dance, aha. But this song isn’t part of my mixtape because it was a huge part of my life back in middle school days. Rather, it’s because of its meaning. That’s right, folks, the whole OMG I LIKE A BOYYYYY feeling. Yes, Dad, I had little infatuations when I was younger. 😛
Happiness: Red Velvet
Yup, that was me. High energy, colourful happiness everywhere. In fact, one person used to call me Ms. Happy, haha. Not to say that I’m not happy now, but, well, I think a better way of putting it is that I used to be like hyper happy. Which, okay, some people might think that I’m still like that but…yeah. Read on to see what I mean~
Best Friend: Hillsong
*I used the lyric video because geez the live video is like 7 minutes long O.o*
Moving around, though fun, had it’s fair share of hardships and the one that took the biggest toll of me was not making long-lasting friends. Every time we moved, I had to re-enter a school where some people grew up together, and therefore had an upper hand and more history than I did. I distinctly felt this and started on a quest to find my one true, best friend. …it never happened. I had all these expectations and every time they crumbled because, well, my expectations were too high and I was really clingy.
But then I found my best friend: Jesus. Now I’m not trying to preach at you or anything, and no I wasn’t told to include this in my mixtape. Even now, I don’t use the phrase BFF/best friend to a person. I use it only when talking about Jesus. And He has truly been the best friend I could ever have.
Going to CEGEP and university was a way to get a fresh start and move on from past pain. But hmm maybe pain is a bit too much? I did struggle in high school with relationships, again with my small class of 22 and overanalyzed the heck out of everything they did. I ended up resolving the mountains I made out of molehills and wrote a letter to every classmate, including the person I liked for a good year and a half. This song was like my rebirth, not to be too dramatic, but yeah.
I Don’t Need a Man, Miss A
And look at the big difference now! AHAHA. Now, I don’t feel a need to have a boyfriend. Back then, I felt like I needed to because it was cool. I think I actually wrote that in my diary…*shudders*. Nowadays, dating someone is not my priority and probably won’t be for a while.
Happy, Pharrell Williams
This is my new type of happy. Not as hyper and just you know, bubbly. Smiling, swaying to music *that other might or might not hear* and going crazy only with those who invest enough time in me, ha. Though it doesn’t seem like a big deal, I’m actually proud of this new level of happy. When I was a tween, my happiness was wayyy too much because I forced it to be something more than it actually was to try to get more attention. My happiness now is not forced and not trying to steal the spotlight. It’s just, well, happy~ 🙂
Wings, Little Mix
Finding my destiny, finding what I’m supposed to do. Sounds about right for my age and honestly, it’s kind of stressful. But this song is the happier version of my quest and encouraging too.
No More Dream, BTS
Aaaand then, this is the darker part of my quest. This is pretty much me saying WHAT THE HECK AM I SUPPOSED TO BE DOING NOW JUST NO LEAVE ME ALONE TO FIND MY OWN DREAM. Fun fact: the dude with the shades is in the top 0.01% of Korea’s students and chose instead to be a rapper. Yeah, I know. That there is truly following your passion. I definitely listened to this song *and still do* when I get stressed.
Believe in Me, Michelle Williams
This was a beautiful coincidence that I found this song. I was fishing for a song on iTunes to use up my remaining 1.00 from my gift card and oh hey, there it was. I had no idea what it was but after listening to a snippet, I decided sure, why not. So I downloaded the song and gave it a whirl, hoping that it was worth it.
When the song finished, I was crying.
…um, just, I resonate a lot with the song. I didn’t really realize it before but I lost belief in myself a while ago. And yet people keep on telling me Ashley you’re going to do great things in life, Ashley you’re destined for greatness and I just think where are you seeing this? And why can’t I see it, or believe it myself? I don’t feel like someone great. I procrastinate, can be lazy, make mistakes, struggle with insecurities just like the other person. Why am I different?
I’m trying now to put more faith in myself and the gifts God has given me. If I want to move forward, I need to believe in myself too.
Oceans, Hillsong United
My faith and beliefs are key to shaping my quest for my destiny. I truly believe that God has a plan for me, something He picked out for me before I was born. The key, then, is just finding it. And I won’t settle for less. I know when I find it, it’ll truly resonate with my soul because it was what I was made to do.
But I feel like for me, it’ll be something that will require my faith. It might scare me for whatever reasons, but in that circumstance, I’ll just have to trust in him, just like they say in the bridge:
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders,
let me walk upon the waters wherever you would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior
Lucky, Jason Mraz ft Colbie Caillat
In the future, I’ll be in love. *AWHHHHHHHH //honestly I’d probably be fangirling over my own relationship it’ll be so funny poor him :P* Ideally, he and I will be friends before we become lovers (THAT SOUNDED WEIRD WHOA JUST WHOA…*breaaathe geez Chong, soooo pro -.-).
반말 (Banmal) Song, Yonghwa (CNBLUE) and Seohyun (Girls’ Generation)
In addition, I want to marry a Korean guy who’s older than me.
*pause: omg I’m just listening my ideal list now AHAHAHA sorry guise*
반말 is informal language. In English, we generally speak the same when speaking to people older and younger than us. But in Korea, there’s 존대말 , which is formal language used to anyone older than you (even a year older sometimes if they’re picky) and 반말 is used for friends and people you’re comfortable with. So yeah, banmal song is about that, getting close to someone older than you for uh romantic purposes.
*apologies for my under par ways for describing love because well, I don’t have experience in that field, ha*
Also, here’s another performance of the song with nicer quality. (AND ALSO BECAUSE OMG THIS SONG IS BEAUTIFUL AND SO MANY FEELS ALWEFKJA;LWEIJFAL;EIFJ)
Climax, Team B (iKON)
I want to get there. I will get there and there will be lots of work beforehand and struggles and failures but one day I will get there. Just like how these boys worked so hard, they got there and are now set to debut some time this year. This song encourages me and it’s so honest, the way they sing and rap to push themselves onward to their future.
If they can do it, so can I.
Fix My Eyes, for King and Country
Through it all, I want to know what my foundation is. If I ever do achieve the greatness people tell me, I want to stay grounded and know where all the glory is due.
END (uh, is this death then?
but wait that’s a whole other set of songs and stuff…and this is a long post)
If you’ve made it all the way to the end, congratulations! Now you know a lot more about me~ Thank you so much for taking the time to read this post. I hope at least you were entertained or found something you liked. 🙂