First Vlog and Musing over Vlogging

My lovely readers, I have officially made my first vlog!

I shot it at my high school’s golf fundraiser. I didn’t really feel uncomfortable in front of the camera, it was just the selfie stick that was weird. I mean, it is quite a ridiculous looking contraption and there isn’t a way to deny that, well, you’re recording yourself and pretty much talking to an inanimate object. How do other vloggers do it? Maybe others are used to it by then? I mean, they seem more confident and I am confident but at the same time this is a whole new field, you know? It’s a whole new thing of being judged, ha.

I mean, if I saw someone vlogging, I’d totally respect it. They want to capture moments and also, who knows, they might be some famous YouTuber (or will be). Does this mean that I’ll be YouTube famous one day? AHAHA AS IF. 

Already I have a list of things I want to improve with next time:

  • audio! I didn’t know wind sounded that loud -.-…
  • controlling the stick a bit more, less shaky
  • slowing down when I’m showing something

Hopefully the difference will be noticeable…

Okay, serious time now though. I showed my video to my mom when I finished it because, well, it took a while to finish editing it and I wanted to get some approval or something, just like how a child runs up to their parent with their drawing. I already felt super shy showing it to her because I was filming a bit when we went to the Chinese grocery earlier today and she didn’t get why I did it at all. But maybe she’d laugh at the random parts or at least say good job?-

Well, not really. She was just like “I hope you don’t put that up anywhere. It’s too silly!” but not like how you think but just…it’s hard to explain. And it kind of hurt, you know? She went on to say it was weird how I focused on myself the whole time (as well, it was mainly pointing at myself).

And there went my confidence, deflated like a balloon. But at the same time, she nor my dad really get the concept of vlogging. It is a weird concept, actually isn’t it? It’s just people talking about their day, whether it be extraordinary or plain. Who cares, anyway? And yet, we still do it. It’s fun to watch people just talk, and it’s also a way to escape for a bit, or to see how someone else is doing.

Why am I doing all this anyway? (besides practicing for future China vlogs) 솔직히 말할게 (I’ll say this honestly): I wanted to for a while. I think I’m somewhat funny/entertaining and I wanted to try to piece together my own video. Not to say that I’m now trying to become YouTube famous or anything. It’s just fun for me, a hobby perhaps. So it was a blow when my mom asked if I was planning to post it anywhere.

I shouldn’t overanalyze it. It shouldn’t matter, but it still does. Not enough to make me stop, but enough to still hurt.

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