It’s been almost three weeks since school finished and yet I haven’t accomplished much. I mean, sure I made some videos (here and here) but anything towards my major or stretching my brain? Not really. And it’s bothering me. I mean, during university my brain was constantly on the run, being stretched for math or science or music or just getting from point A to point B.
But at home? This is what I’m doing:
…yeah. But, good news! After this video, I actually got a chance to go outside! YESSSS. My mom has been keeping a careful eye on me as I got sick thanks to Montreal’s weird weather. She originally wasn’t going to let me go outside until I got fully recovered, which who knew when that would be. But today I was feeling a lot better (aka could breathe out of my nose) and I actually had a reason to go downtown; the Chinese embassy needed to see my admission letter from Peking University with the official seal to check that I was actually a student going to China. It frustrated me at first that I had to go all the way downtown just to show that yes, my letter had a red stamp on it, but then I decided to make an adventure out of it. So I called my friend Marissa and we went downtown.
So that’s what happened after the video was shot. My head is a lot more cleared and I’m glad I went outside. I don’t feel as muddled and I know a bit more what my goals are. Well, I mean, they’re pretty much the same ones that I listed at the beginning of summer. But now I want to seriously get stuff done. I don’t want summer to fly by and my only accomplishment to be that I successfully wasted it away. I do have to spend some time figuring out what’s going on with my major. I can’t run away forever.
And in fact, it hit me recently that my procrastination recently has actually been veiled cowardice. Yeah…ouch. But that’s what it is, I’m scared to actually start something and maybe not finish it fully or finish it well. I need to just do it. I mean, geez, I don’t even remember the last time I accomplished something significant. That’s sad.
Presently, I’m in the library with my mom. Within the span of shooting the video and now, not much has really happened. My dad realized this and wisely took away my laptop from me. I got it back yesterday, but only under the condition that I have to do Coursera, which wasn’t a bad requirement at all. Coursera is a website where you can take online courses from universities around the world for free. Check it out here and see what you can learn! I’m actually taking Beginning Chinese there from (ironically) Peking University, where I’ll be going in July. It’s a lot more organized and I feel less stressed about the language this way, so hooray for that!
I’m amazed at the library though. I walked through the nonfiction historical area to find a book about Tiananmen Square and left with two more books and inspiration. There’s so many books to read! I wanted to grab three more books about China but had to control myself. My brain is waking up (finally) and I’m getting excited by these books. Such a shame that I didn’t do this earlier…while I could have been learning more about China I was surfing YouTube and learning pointless things…
Well, the important thing is that now I’m here and now, I’m going to learn.