before I sleep

I wish I had more to write

but my tiredness wins

especially since it’s coupled with a curiosity

and anticipation

to see what waits in my dreams.

Who will I meet?

How?

In what circumstance?

What will we do?

Will it be someone I saw just today

or a face from my past?

What will they do?

What story will I weave tonight?

Who will win?

Will there be tears,

love,

betrayal,

anger?

It’s almost as if I’m going to see a movie,

except it’s starring myself

playing out some version of my life.

But perhaps tonight

the screen will stay black.

Maybe just the effort of fishing out a face and weaving a plot

will be too much.

Either way,

tomorrow I will rise slightly different

be it from a trip down the rabbit hole

or a gentler rest in the soft pastures of my mind.

///

written june 12.15, before going to bed.

I’ve always had a fascination with dreams. When I was younger, I had the craziest dreams with some pretty intricate plots. Nowadays my dreams are more realistic, but they still surprise me, especially in who cameos or stars in them. I’ve been experimenting to see if I can control who I see in my dreams, and sadly, I’ve discovered that there’s a limit to what I can do. So, dreams remain a mystical, almost magical aspect of my daily life.

~ajc

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