Why did I expect magic or sparkles of sorts?
-balderdash. magic isn’t real anyway
And yet, still…
all this vast knowledge and potential is overwhelming
in a delicious
yet scary way.
And I’m not quite sure how to feel about it,
because in a way, I’m excited to explore
but also scared because what if
my sails are punctured
and I’m left stranded with nothing to feed me
but the bitter fruit of failed and disappointment?
All this for nothing
and yet again I’m blowing it too far,
conceiving notions prematurely,
casting my own fortune when all along
I have not rights to that-
all I have
is my right to choose.
Is it worth exploring the unknown
with only the ever shifting stars to guide my?
Am I ready for that…
will I ever be?
written june 8.15, before I fell asleep.