Five Days to Beijing and Yet…

have you ever gotten to that point

when you know you have things to do,

ambitions to fulfill,

boxes to check

and yet

nothing.

not to say that the fire has been quenched

but rather, I’ve been lulled to sleep by my circumstances,

prey to the deceiving enemy of false security

because there’s still things to do

and I can’t run forever

or use my ignorance as an excuse.

///

In five days, I’ll be in Beijing. How ready am I for it?- Not as much as I should be.

I’m landing in China outside of the university’s welcome hours so I have to figure out how to get to the hotel on my own and even from there I’m not quite sure what procedure will happen for me once I get to the hotel. And thing is, it’s not like this is something I can lightly brush off because I can’t speak Mandarin. There is a possibility for many ‘worse case scenarios’. The weird thing is that yes there is the part of me panicking but the other part is being really chill about it all. I don’t know, I’m confused. I think I’ll try to call them tomorrow to get everything sorted out.

Today though, I don’t want to. My glasses are gone because my mom insisted on getting me a smaller pair because she thought they were disproportionate but getting a new pair means shipping it to Korea with friends and picking it up in Chicago before I go to Beijing. So I’m stuck with wearing contacts or and old pair of glasses that isn’t exactly my prescription and throws me off. I’m still in contacts as I’m writing this now, but I can feel my contacts starting to wear out/dry up…sigh.

I think I’ll stop here before I deteriorate into rambling or worse yet ranting, ha.

As always, thanks for reading,

~ajc

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1 thought on “Five Days to Beijing and Yet…”

  1. It is an intimidating task to complete, and I wish you best of luck!

    Also a small tip: do NOT wear contacts on airplanes, the aircon inside the plane will make them dry really quickly and you will also have trouble napping. Better go with glasses or go blind lol

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