It’s the middle of week six of this semester, and it’s been a crazy roller coaster of emotions, confusion, and frustration. At least once a week, I’d dip into a dark mood because I was stressed about the semester, wanting to go directly into International Studies, not wanting to do my engineering courses. Some of my friends have had to listen to me rant (bless them) and there’s a good number of angry journal entries too, haha.
But somehow in the midst of this, I always forgot what made me rise again. I mean, it’s always the same thing, and yet each time I forget and turn to myself, quickly drawing all my abilities dry because well, I was never meant to do this on my own. I was meant to do it with the help of God.
It’s honestly crazy that God hasn’t given up on me. I haven’t been diligent in spending time with Him in the morning and was too busy rushing around, trying desperately to tie down the little boat of my life afloat. I capsized but it was never me who brought me back up again, it was Him. Even in the midst of my storms, He sustained me and gave me hope.
And I really don’t deserve it. It’s all just an amazing show of His grace. Let’s put it this way; if this was a regular relationship with say a friend, I’m sure they would have left me by now. I’m awful at keeping in touch with God and remembering Him. I fade away, then rebound back to him, then fade away again, repeating this cycle, but always drawing back to Him because each time I realize that it’s Him, not me.
“Love the LORD, all you his saints! The LORD preserves the faithful but abundantly repays the one who acts in pride. Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the LORD!” (Psalm 31:23-24.)
If you’re going through a hard time in your life, or if life seems stagnant or dry, turn to God. Oftentimes we tend to look out for ways to go on or we lean fully on our pride and our abilities, but trust me that’ll run out. Only God can help us; after all, He made us and knows what we need, when we need it.
I hope this helped others today~ Be blessed, friends 🙂