merp…

I’m gonna be real with you readers because I promised nothing less when I started this blog;

I’ve been almost scared to write on this blog again. I always knew that I needed to write again and that my blog was slowly wilting without me but I kept on ignoring it, saying that I was busy with, quite frankly, doing nothing. I think a part of it is because I want things to line up perfectly. I want each blog post to fall neatly in line and be well written and show that I’m a decent writer or something of that sort. But thing is, not everything is perfect. And I knew this when I started this blog and wrote more often, writing because I loved writing, writing not because anyone needed by writing but because I needed it.Β 

And yet, although I knew that writing is what I need, I’ve been scared to come back to it. How ironic, haha. Even now, as I’m writing, I’m hitting myself in the head. Why did I shy away from writing when it’s only been good to me?

In fact, I have a theory about myself; when I don’t write, I’m not as engaged in my life. Because when I write, I have to shut everything down and focus on something, anything. I have to get to a point when it’s just me, my mind, and the music I listen to as I write (which, right now is this song, haha).

And to add to all that, I’ve been coming up with these long lists of blog posts I should do. I even have a note in my phone dedicated to just that! But it never gets done. My goodness, if my blog was a friend, they would have left me now because I’m spending such little time with them.

(This is a pretty sad way to kick off my posts in this new year haha)

Anyhow. I think I’m writing this more to remind myself to get writing, especially when I feel lazy. So, yes, this is a bit of a selfish post because it’s mostly targeted to my lazy, scared writer self. But if you’ve read through this, thank you for coming with me into this angle of my life.

And now that my self criticism is out of the way, onto better things! I’m meeting with some friends at 6 but I think I can squeeze in another post before then? πŸ™‚

Much thanks for reading friends~

ajc

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