Today I decided to drop my music minor. It wasn’t forced or weird; if anything, it felt natural. And the fact that it felt okay made me wonder about myself. Maybe I really am growing up.
This isn’t to say that music is childish. For me, I always kept the idea of maybe doing something with music at the back of my mind. I was fascinated by the music world, the performances, the endless rehearsals, the production, the creation process. It was my secret ambition, or so I told myself. One day, I’ll do music and it’ll be awesome and it’ll be the answer to all the confusion in what to do with my life.
But as I’m starting to delve into topics in Asian American studies and anthropology, things have changed. But it’s not as if these newfound interests of mine have ripped me away from music; rather, it’s like all along these interests were there and now I’m devoting my time to them and their beautiful complexities. And in the process of that, I’m realizing that I wasn’t destined for music.
And this should have been mind blowing to me. It should have upset me that something would come before music, or so I thought. But it makes sense.
I always knew that music would play a key part in my life. I still listen to music almost everywhere I go. But now, I don’t compose as much and I don’t dream of producing a song or performing on stage.
I feel like this is some crucial point in my life, but it’s not. As I start to focus and prioritize my interests more, of course others interests will step aside.
So, music, thank you for being my constant companion. You’ve given me a voice to express myself during high school and you’ve given me the opportunity to perform in ensembles and as a soloist. You’ve played a big role in shaping me to who I am today.
If anything, music, you saw this coming, didn’t you? Because as you now step to backstage, it seems all well planned. And how humble you are, slowing leading me to where I need to be, holding my hand through it all.
Thank you music, and I’ll carry the passion I had with you to other endeavours in my life.