Modesty modesty modesty…


It’s a buzz word for Christians. Don’t be a stumbling block to the men around you. Don’t prevent them from getting to God. Don’t…don’t…don’t…

This is what I heard for a long time. It’s drilled into my head, taken root and guided my decisions in what I wear. This being said, it doesn’t mean that I never wore a dress or never put in effort into my appearance. It just means that I didn’t want to wear something that would draw attention to me because in the midst of all this talk about modesty modesty modesty

I grew to fear my body.

Continue reading “Modesty modesty modesty…”


Word of 2016: Sensitive

I read a post on Facebook about a girl choosing a word of the year. This girl prayed over the word, went through a list, and then settled on the word ‘engaged’ (not in engaged for marriage, but rather, engaged in her environment and the people around her). This got me thinking, as already for me, a word had been tugging at the edges of my mind:

sensitive Continue reading “Word of 2016: Sensitive”

Proof of Grace

It’s the middle of week six of this semester, and it’s been a crazy roller coaster of emotions, confusion, and frustration. At least once a week, I’d dip into a dark mood because I was stressed about the semester, wanting to go directly into International Studies, not wanting to do my engineering courses. Some of my friends have had to listen to me rant (bless them) and there’s a good number of angry journal entries too, haha.

But somehow in the midst of this, I always forgot what made me rise again. I mean, it’s always the same thing, and yet each time I forget and turn to myself, quickly drawing all my abilities dry because well, I was never meant to do this on my own. I was meant to do it with the help of God.  Continue reading “Proof of Grace”

I am not the sun

Today I realized amongst a room of strangers that I cannot care or look after anyone the way God can. I cannot comfort anyone like Him, I cannot dry their tears like God, and ultimately I cannot be their hope and their sunshine.

It can seem like I’m like that, like I can shine light into people’s lives. People have told me that before; that I’m so bubbly, that I’m always so happy, that I’m sunlight dancing, waltzing through their darkness. And I feel honored that I am seen as that, that I can bring happiness to someone, however fleeting it may be. Continue reading “I am not the sun”


There was a magic show at my university today. It was called The MAZE and was largely advertised and really hyped up. But I knew what it was about all along…it was a method to attract people to hear the magician’s testimony. Hm…

I didn’t end up going, but as I was in the lounge, I overheard some floormates discussing the show. They said they enjoyed it until, as one girl put it, “He got to the religious part.”

My goodness, the way that she said it and the way they further discussed it was as if being religious was synonymous with being despicable. Geez. Continue reading ““Religious””

Religious Rant #2: Crazy Preacher Man

It’s time for another religious rant, dear followers. Just an fyi, it’s not like I plan these things, they just happen as I’m walking to class. I promise to make my next post more fluffy; it might be some MV review or something about how I feel more Canadian on campus~

But back to my rant.

Here’s what initiated it.


But Ashley, you may think, doesn’t that look like as if an apostle was preaching like in ye olden days? I suppose, yes. But then look at the other sign nearby:

IMG_0007 Continue reading “Religious Rant #2: Crazy Preacher Man”

A State of Okay

Preface: this is going to be a more philosophical/deep post compared to my last ones. Don’t expect this to be as light and fluffy, haha~

So. This past week was kind of insane for me, if you couldn’t tell by my random dipping into philosophy while drinking tea post X). It was midterms week and just kind of in general, I’ve been feeling down about myself, my body, my time management skills and well everything.

But now, just sitting in my room listening to some Christian music I feel at a state of okay. With my cup of tea and in my pyjamas, for some reason now everything is shifting into focus. I think, no, I’m positive a big reason why is the simplified, solid music that I’m listening to. Christian music always recharges me like nothing else because of the messages it holds. And in comparison to the circus act of KPop, this music is so much more substantial and filling. Not to say that KPop is less or anything, but I believe that each type of music has its own purpose. KPop, I think, is more of an energy boost or mood shifter while Christian music is my go-to for slice of peace, joy, or something to really hold on to.

It’s not like I totally forgot about my other worries; trust me, I still have to work on my time management and work out (as in exercise). But just in this moment, it’s not like everything’s frozen, it’s more like everything makes more sense and I’m feeling a little bit more okay.

Also, here’s some of the songs I was listening to~

-Calling Glory: Teach Me to Love

:I am With You

-Everfound: God of the Impossible


As I was writing my other post, I overheard to my left someone say “the Old Testament” and my interest was piqued. Immediately, I assumed that they were people who were arguing over some aspect of the Bible or something like that, but to my surprise, it was two guys, one older (probably a mentor) and one younger reading the Bible together.


And the weird thing, it just this past Sunday we were just speaking about looking for other Christians in our surroundings. Weird, huh? Well, then again, it is God so it’s not as weird aha~

Jeepers, I’m tempted to walk over there and give them a thumbs-up or something. I wish that Christians had some hand signal or something to say that we’re on the same team. I guess for now, I’ll just cheer them on silently and thank God that they’re here 🙂

Big Bold Posters…for Christ?

As I was walking to the Old Capitol Mall for my chamber music coaching, I stopped to marvel at a huge neon poster that said that said “LIFE WILL CRUSH YOU. THESE ‘CHURCHES’ ARE A SHAM. GET ALONE TALK TO JESUS HE REALLY CARES.”


Okay. Whoa. Hello, there…

I agree, life does tend to crush us but not all churches are a scam. And yes, everyone should definitely talk directly to Jesus but overall this poster came off as way too strong/harsh for me.

Along with the poster there was a woman shoving flyers into everyone’s hands. The flyers were well done, though. The only thing I don’t get about it is the weird picture/collage of stuff they used on the front…Is is supposed to be abstract or something? Cause when I first saw it, the red patterned part reminded me of Spiderman, which I don’t know, maybe indirect messages that Jesus is your superhero? (*cue Hillsong Kids song*)


Just like every other evangelism tract, there was the expected call to investigate into Christ and reading the Bible. But I still, even though I’m a Christian, felt a bit turned off.

I personally don’t really like strong evangelism calls. I get it, it works for other people but it majorly turns me off. But because I don’t like it, doesn’t mean that it’s wrong or anything but I always get a feeling of almost shame at how shameless people are? Like oh gosh there they’re going again pushing Christianity into people’s faces.

I understand the importance of evangelism because the Gospel is something that needs to be shared. But for example, I know someone who is majorly turned off because of too much street evangelism.

Then again, it’s not really my concern to worry about the evangelism of the whole world. But at the same time, I’m pretty sure I’d hesitate if someone asked me to pass out flyers to strangers on the street. I’d rather talk to someone one on one and share my beliefs within the realm of friendship instead of going to approach someone with the sole purpose of getting them to convert.