No one believes me. Not even my family; they think I’m trying to be cool or something. They tell me to stop doing it, stop trying to impress people, just stop it.
But I can’t.
And I finally decided to do some research into it.
I think it started when I was in grade school? I remember we were walking through some impressive executive building with lots of glass windows and my family was together and I started doing some faux British accent, copying what the EPL (English Premier League) commentators said during soccer games. It was entertaining to my grandparents; apparently, it was hilarious to see me doing this somewhat British accent.
But then as I grew older, I realized something bizarre;
I started to do it unconsciously. Or, maybe I did it before or I hadn’t interacted with people with noticeable accents before.
For my brother’s graduation, my mom and I went hunting for ties. I expected them to cost like $20, maybe $30 max.
Guess what, folks? THEY’RE LIKE $60 AND UP.
Excuse me? These tiny strips of cloth used for merely decorative purposes cost that much? Was it because of the materials or was there more to it? Perhaps it was because of a certain name of a model? And why do men wrap slivers of cloth around their necks anyway? I mean, yes, it is quite good looking but someone had to come up with it before. What was the first tie?- I mean, what was the logic behind that? Was it a wife looking at her husband’s work attire and, deeming it not good enough, grabbed some random piece of cloth lying around and tied it around his neck? What was the reaction to that?
When I came to visit my cousin’s family in the tiny town of Elizabeth, Illinois, I expected to be able to relax, have some amazing homemade meals, and make music. Which, don’t get me wrong, I have been able to do all these things.
And, in addition, I have been introduced into the awesome world that is STAR TREK.
I didn’t see it coming. The extent of my exposure to Star Trek was:
- My orchestra played the theme song for our space themed concert
- I knew the ‘live long and prosperous’ hand thing
- The ‘How It Should Have Ended’ video
- And I watched some snippets of the 2009 reboot. And by snippets I mean maybe twenty minutes of the beginning and twenty minutes of the ending.
As parents clean out the remains from Thanksgiving dinner, the majority of the carcass is tossed into the garbage except this slim bone:
This fragile v-shaped bone is called a wishbone. The common Western tradition is to wait for the bone to dry, then to have two people pull the wishbone by their pinkies. Whoever breaks the wishbone gets a wish granted. Continue reading
I felt like I was drowning. For the first time, I understood what all those comics meant when there were pictures of long, convoluted formulas that all melded together to one massive unidentifiable blob of math. And it’s not like I can’t understand it either. I did really well in differential and integral calculus last year, but this year in multivariable cal, I’m lost. And it’s not because the material is hard; I get bits and pieces, but barely in time for the exam.
It’s because my professor is extremely disorganized and absentminded. Which is a fatal combination for a course as important and complex as multivariable calculus.
Go to the textbook then, Ashley! Isn’t that what you’re holding in the picture? Nope: it’s a textbook I borrowed from the engineering library because GUESS WHAT: A PROFESSOR WROTE THE TEXTBOOK. And he’s not any better than my lecture professor, so the textbook is just as confusing as the lectures are. Oh, the irony. Continue reading
So I was working on my engineering problem solving homework and listening to some music, as per usual. And the song “Don’t Be Happy/행복하지마” by Mamamoo and featuring Bumkey came on and I looked down at it just to check the time and then I froze.
Take a look at the single cover of the song:
Now, most of you are just thinking: okay, typical black and white image and dramatic staring into the distance.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT I SEE?
I SEE A THREE DIMENSIONAL CURVE WAITING TO BE DIAGNOSED BY SOME GRADIENT FORMULA.
DO YOU SEE THE CROSS HATCHING LINES?
It has officially begun: the intrusion of my subjects into my life. (dun dun DUNNNN!)
I thought I was done with school; after all, it was already the third week of summer and I was enjoying not having to study for any exams or panic about assignments.
And then my mom gave me corn on the cob for a snack.
And IT ALL CAME BACK.
As soon as I saw the different coloured kernels, I immediately thought “Wow, this is due to meiosis and random fertilization since each kernel is a different combination of egg and sperm and each one displays a different set of characteristics. Like, look! There’s one that’s yellow and wrinkled while the one next to it is cream coloured and smooth! The law of independent assortment, wasn’t it? And that huge Punnett square with the ratio 9:3:3:1?
And not even just the kernels, look at the colours! The way that we only see yellow when in reality, it’s actually all the colours absorbed except yellow! I wonder how you get cream then?- And oh my goodness, there’s even water and how it’s hydrogen bonds allow it to stick like that to my water bottle and also therefore allowing it to have incredible properties to ensure life on Earth!”
…and then I realized what I nerd I truly was.